Worst. Flat. Ever.

So I decided to join Jen on her flat look this evening - it’s rainy, a Friday night so I figured I’d accompany her. It was raining slightly on our walk over. The gal shows up and lets us in - as soon as she opened the door, I knew it was gonna be bad. I could smell right away they smoked in this place and there were dirty sneakers laying on the stained carpet of the doorway.

The kitchen was pretty run down. We walked into the living room where 2 other roomies were - a boyfriend/girlfriend. Out of the corner of my eye I saw something move on the groud; was it a mouse or hamster?? Once I realize what it is, I poke Jen in the back and said, “Um, make sure you don’t step on the turtle.” What the hell?!

The bedroom was small and dirty with two large water spots on the ceiling. As Jen and the girl talked in the bedroom, I peered into the bathroom and the very first thing I saw? A large bottle of Vagisil on the ledge. Wow.

We went back downstairs so the roommates could answer any of Jen’s fake questions [remember, we already knew she wouldn’t live here] and two of the three flatmates light up their cigs mid conversation. I was trying desperately to telepathically tell Jen - we must leave NOW! I don’t know how cigarette etiquette goes, but it just seemed weird that two of them lit up in front of complete strangers, one who could have possibly been a flatmate. AND they didn’t even post on their ad that it was a smoking house! Jen wouldn’t have even looked if she had known. Additionally, the girlfriend, Amanda, was 25 and must party really hard because her face looked pretty worn and didn’t look like a youthful 25.

We finally made our way out before my head exploded and as we got out of earshot, I hissed, “RUN!” and we literally ran, laughing, away from the shithole.

The walk back was horrible; rained fiercely, our jeans were soaking, but now we have a great funny story and our bellies are filled with Old El Paso fajitas and red wine : )